Gurg-fitti...

Today I am letting Gurg The Invincible, Eater of Worlds loose on my blog. Gurg is the monster with one swollen eye, a bad headache and insomnia. Gurg is unable to sleep because of her eye being so painful. She has just had to get up for the 3rd, maybe 4th time for hot flannel treatment for her eye. The problem is that I love Gurg, but she always makes my eye swell up and I seem to be in pain whenever she's around. But I won't ban her, she's had quite a hard life already... so, read on...

Gurg the Invincible's cousin,
Gracie (the Irrepressible)
escaped from JunkerJane's junk yard...

GRRRG! Gurg The Invincible, Eater of Worlds, writing to you all. The picshure on the right is actually of my cousin, Gracie the Irrepressible, Treader of Toes. Look at the teefs. Mine are much more biggerer and krunch right through rock and everything.

The spider sat on her tail is a relative of Incy Wincy spider - you know, the one from the nursery rhyme. This one is called Scuttle and I gave him to her as a present on her SewDay (bit like your hoomin birthday) when she was still mostly scraps of material. She was so quiet and cute then. Now she is just craayzeeee and stomps on people's toes. hee hee..

Gracie's parents had a terrible time and were mangled in a terrible automobile accident many sewn moons ago. Gracie was fixed by Junker Jane but later escaped from  the Junk yard, and was then taken in by a lovely hoomin called Little Miss Somebody.

I was not quite so fortunate. I ate my family, totally by accident, one day when Pa and I were practicing rock crushing and how to eat whole houses in one bite. I got a bit carried away and I ate a whole street,unfortunately it was my street so I ate the family home and all its contents (including Ma, my twin brother, Garg the Unconvinceable, Mincer of Words, our pet sock monster Terry and my favourite ugly doll, Target). :(

Dad was not very pleased with my behaviour so I got sent away to World of Studentland with a flea in my ear and a restraining order, so I'm not actually allowed to eat real streets any more. So, I was banished for a few years and during this time I learned new ways to manage my wont of eating worlds. I discovered miniature towns that people seem to think are wonderful, but I just think they are a pathetic nonsense that don't even taste good. I also discovered cake and popcorn and found that if I cooked cake or popcorn or bread towns I not only had amazing meals, I also met other cake monsters and we all became friends. That's really how I got to meet Barney James, Dave and The Loris - they are all Cake Monsters :]. I also get to learn about the Jesus and God because I didn't really think that He loved me until The Loris was telling me all about Him and ALL THE LOVINS redemption and forgiveness. Dave loves Jesus - he actually knows all about dinosaurs and the fossil record, but he's not allowed to tell anyone about it. He wants to though cos he wants to upset the scary Christians AND the scientists.  He does roll his eyes and burp a lot. He's very funny.We have a good time together, although I think The Loris zekritlee doesn't really like it when I go to stay at her house, because I make her have problems in her eyes and she's always in pain, but she doesn't really complain a lot, but I think she gets quite sad. She says that she loves me, but it's just the horrible pain in her eyes and the problems with her vision that she doesn't like. Barney and Dave seem to be OK. It's only The Loris that I affect. :[

Well, just so you know, when I came back from World of Studentland I made things right with my Dad, Glug The Unsinkable, Sailor of Skies and now we are rebuilding the house I ate all those years ago. I'm also getting proper help, so I will be eating rocks - instead of houses  - in one bite.Dad has managed to buy a quarry, so we shouldn't go hungry or eat any more relatives... ;]

I have to go now cos I'm getting peckish, so I go now to chew on a block of chalk...

Peace

GrrrrrrrrrrrrrrG!

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